The cost of attachment to outcomes

Are you attached to the outcome?  When you entered that job, relationship, etc did you expect a certain outcome?  For most of us the answer would be YES!  We have been taught to set goals, achieve those goals, don’t accept no as an answer, work till you see results, PRODUCE, PRODUCE,PRODUCE!  Our acceptance, appreciation, and value has all been tied up into outcomes.  As a teacher I have sat in many meetings where we have discussed measurable goals and outcomes.  It’s almost sickening how we analyze people with numbers. We as a society have EXTREME ATTACHMENT TO OUTCOMES ISSUES!  So this week when I was faced with disappointment I had to sit down and ask myself, what are you really angry and sad about?  The answer was alarming!  I honestly was not upset with the rejection, I wasn’t sadden by the removal of this person from my life in how I had known them.  I was hurt by the realization that my intended outcome would not be.

My attachment to the outcome almost stole my joy.

In my mind I had expectations that had not been established from the beginning.  I had outcomes I was working towards, but neglected to make sure the other person shared the same vision.  I was so focused on the outcome that I forgot to enjoy the journey.  As a result I put pressure on the situation, so much so that I forced the person into a choice that didn’t lean in my favor.  Instead of practicing gratitude and being thankful for the present moment I idealized the potential future.  I couldn’t even appreciate the time spent because of my extreme attachment to the outcome.

Once I realized that outcome would not be, it clouded my judgment of what is.

I know I’m speaking to someone right now, silently suffering because they are so full of disappointment, anger, shame, guilt, sadness because of the attachment to the outcome.  Breaking out of this way of thinking is a daily choice.  I spent a few days out of it, but today I CHOOSE TO BE AT PEACE!  God( however you define the ultimate source) has given us all choice and today I CHOOSE TO LET GO OF OUTCOMES AND ENJOY THE BLESSINGS OF THE NOW!

Right here, right now I accept that “pointing the finger is the way you deny that you have had any involvement in the experience. It is the way you deny your power”~Iyanlya Vanzant

I’m taking back my power.  I will not succumb to blaming another person for me not making my expectations known, or for them choosing something different.  I can’t control the outcome and I’m over trying.

Currently surrendering.  What’s for me won’t miss me.


A tired soul


15 thoughts on “The cost of attachment to outcomes

  1. “It’s all about the journey/leaving and returning…autumn leaves, you and me/the colors of the seasons/are here for good reason…” ~Substantial
    Yes. Surrender to what is, accept what’s here and bloom. Love it!


  2. I relate to this all too well. Often I find myself ONLY focusing on the outcomes….then I have to sit back and look at my situation – almost from an aerial view. But for the most part, I’ve come to realize the journey is a good ride

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. It’s hard because we really live in a society that is focused on what we produce. We miss out on the beauty of it all. This attachment to outcome in my experience shows up in every aspect of our lives. Like it said in the post it is a daily choice to focus on the now. Thanks for reading!


  3. I have been programmed to always look at the bigger picture in everything I do and to be result oriented. To achieve my goaIs I put in all resources available at my disposal.
    It’s however heartbreaking when the unexpected happens to turn the tables around with a detrimental effect, thereby not able to achieve the expected results.

    But for me, I attach myself to the outcome as my moral and the energy that keeps me going with an unwavering strength, pressing towards the mark of higher calling.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very wise! I so get this. I’ve done it many times. So focused on that future we forget to live in now, which is all we really have. Girl, I’m tired too. Down to the bones. But let’s keep going.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This couldn’t speak more to me! Society puts such pressure on all aspects of our lives and it’s difficult not to feel like a failure at times especially when we don’t meet society’s “quota”. It’s only the past two years that I have been focusing more on my happiness than anything else! Live day to day. In all honesty, being human is difficult!

    Liked by 1 person

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